i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
