think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Randomize
