Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
