What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
