it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
