I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
