THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
