So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
