It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
