NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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