Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
