I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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