You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
