The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
