cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Sorry about my life...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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