he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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