I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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