started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
