i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
