Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
