Don't you send me to vm
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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