You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
