From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
