I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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