I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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