what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
