so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
