It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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