I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
