and you said cock pushups were impossible
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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