The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
