ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
