btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
