Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.