Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

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  (617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate http://tfl.nu/fqo5
  Replies (32) Good night (7904) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Why does tequilla always make you text me?

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  (301): You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate. (240): Why does tequilla always make you text me? http://tfl.nu/qeax
  Replies (13) Good night (4126) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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  (859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever http://tfl.nu/61m6
  Replies (33) Good night (6204) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet

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  (661): a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet http://tfl.nu/xcx4
  Replies (36) Good night (3940) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Sober January is a disaster.

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  (917): Sober January is a disaster. http://tfl.nu/b9eq
  Replies (6) Good night (1385) Bad night (3242)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1235) Bad night (2920)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.

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  (617): I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch. http://tfl.nu/yicm
  Replies (13) Good night (2044) Bad night (3173)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".

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  (407): She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high". http://tfl.nu/d3ih
  Replies (2) Good night (1408) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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  (+61): we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood http://tfl.nu/ba4y
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game

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  (724): They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game http://tfl.nu/pqbb
  Replies (8) Good night (1142) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (88): View more from

  As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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  (88): As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice. http://tfl.nu/ji6g
  Replies (10) Good night (1951) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4

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  (218): Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4 http://tfl.nu/3h2w
  Replies (36) Good night (1624) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.

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  (305): No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night. http://tfl.nu/ytkw
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You also proposed and then tried to jack me off

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  (480): You also proposed and then tried to jack me off http://tfl.nu/5zxw
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (203)

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