Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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