You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
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Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on