end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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