But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize