i think my mom watched the whole time
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
