you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
