We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
