Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
