I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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