Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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