So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
