Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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