this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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