It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
