it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
