I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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