he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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