I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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