she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
