i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize