this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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