it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
