who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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