Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?

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(914): View more from New York

He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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(925): View more from California

I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.

(415): View more from California

I still don't know how you've lived this long.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.

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