Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
