That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS