ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
