I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize