He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
