have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
