I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize